I Found I Lost Myself In Search Of You
by HopelessOpus16
Summary: Based on the Matt Nathanson song. Dark Swan. Killian Jones must lie to get Emma back to her true self. But will it work when Killian can't find his true self?
1. Chapter 1

**DARK SWAN**

 **So there is this song by Matt Nathanson called Lost Myself In Search of You. So that was my inspiration. First story so this might be a little crappy**

 **I don't own Lost Myself In Search of You nor do I own Once Upon A Time**

Emma's POV

As I stare at him I'm scared for the answer. What if he doesn't love me anymore? I have screwed up so badly. I would let him go though. If he didn't love me anymore. I know he would let me do the same.

"I loved the old you, the one who wasn't afraid of a fight, the one who would die to keep her family safe because she has wanted a family for so long," Killian says, no emotion in his voice, but I know there is something there. Becoming the dark one has just helped my superpower. "But now all you love is power and that is not the Emma I fought for. Fought for her to love me. This Emma, this this dark one, I can't love her."

I can't take it anymore. I transport out with a dramatic puff of black smoke. I go to the one place that has always comforted me. The docks.

_Line Break_

Killian's POV

Watching her go away was hard. But telling her I couldn't, wouldn't love her. That was the hardest thing I've ever done. But that is what they told me to do. To get her back, to make her see past the darkness, we need to make her love me and Henry and her family more than the power.

I walk out of the building, not wanting to see the dreaded spot where she left. _Where I let her leave._

I walk to the waterline to help me clear my head. I've searched so long to find her that I've lost a little piece of myself. Who am I kidding it was a big piece. I lost myself in search of a woman who would become the dark one. Then I had to do the one thing I promised her I wouldn't do. I left her. Like all the other people in her life. I let her be free. More like I let me be free of the dark one. _Then why do I feel such a big weight on my shoulders?_

"I can answer that question, Dearie."

 **Yeah so sorry it was short. Leave reviews and comments and heck even hate comments I don't care. Criticism helps me improve the story so thanks. I will try to update as soon as possible.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I was like a little kid when a few people Favorited my story. I literally started screaming I was so excited. Thank you all so much! so without further ado, the second chapter.**

 **Still don't own OUAT or the song.**

Killian's POV

" _I can answer that question, Dearie."_

I whip around to see... No one? I could have sworn I had heard a voice.

"Looking for me?" The voice comes from behind but I don't turn around this time.

"What do you want?" I ask.

"Why, I'm hurt," they say with no emotion in their voice. "You love the new Dark One yet still Despise me?"

I turn around now. To look him in the eye. This had been happening since Emma became the dark one. The gold, glittery Rumplestiltskin would pop up. I knew he wasn't real, but it was so convincing.

"I come here to help you and all I get is attitude," Rumple says dryly. "Anyways, the reason you have this weight on your shoulders is, because you know something is up with Emma. Something much bigger, to you at least, then being the dark one. She isn't being loyal to you."

"You're lying. Emma would never do that. Not after what she has been through." I say, not believing a thing he says.

"Whatever you want to think," and with that he disappears in a puff of smoke.

I don't believe him. I mean I can't. Emma wouldn't do that. _But the dark one would._ He isn't even real. He is in a coma. _But he could be able to go into your head. Dark One or no he still has magic._ I look up to see that I had arrived at the docks. Though I wasn't alone, because a certain Swan was sitting on the edge of the docks.

Emma's POV

I hear soft footsteps approaching. _It's him._ I get that fluttering in my stomach and my heart beating faster. _Control yourslef. You are the dark one you shouldn't be afraid. Or nervous. Or scared._

I brace myself to turn around and call out to him, but I see him staring at me. Then he starts walking ever so slowly towards me. As he gets closer I see he isn't looking at me, but rather the Jolly Roger.

I can't take it anymore. I take one last look and go away with a puff of black smoke to make sure he knew I was there.

Killina's POV

I just couldn't bring myself to look at her. Not after what I had been told. I sigh and take one last glance at the spot where she just was. My love, my savior, my swan. After the day I've had I just wanted to sleep. But of course that couldn't happen, could it?

 **WOAH! Maybe, sorta, kinda cliffhanger? Anyways reviews are appreciated. Take care. I will try to update soon since the chapters are so short. So take care, love yourself, and don't let anybody treat you like crap.**

 **P.S. so the singer who this was all kinda based off of released a new album last Friday and if you could check it out that would be cool. He has some really good songs! It is called Show Me Your Fangs by Matt Nathanson. So thanks again! much love. 3 (Wow that heart was really cheesy sorry.)**


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